Thursday, November 5, 2009


I have a feeling its going to be one of those days.

Maybe its because I hardly slept the whole night
In other words, I probably got a freakin hour of sleep.
And I didn't miss out on my sleep voluntarily.
I wasn't up watching a fun movie.
I wasn't up hanging out with friends.
I wasn't up shopping.
I wasn't up doing anything worth missing out on sleep for.
I just wasn't sleeping
So I'm tired, and I'm not happy about it.

But maybe its also because its seven AM and Bear and Lyon are awake.
They are awake and it hasn't taken long for the whining to start.
Whaaaa, waaaa, waaaa, waaaa, WHAAAAAAAA!!!!!
I already want to run away.

Maybe its because I started a my P90X exercise program this week and Bear and Lyon have made it impossible for me to do my yoga this morning.
Have you ever tried doing yoga while being angered by nagging
Its pretty hard to clear your mind and find inner peace when Bear is whining that he wants to watch a kids show, that he wants cereal. And then gets into my pantry and the treats that are in there. Enough candy already!!!!!

Maybe its because I know that I am in for a very, very, very, VERY, long and frustrating day of this.

Maybe its because I know that Phil is going to a basketball game tonight WITHOUT ME! He won't be coming home, I will get no breaks from these children, I will not get out of this house, I will spend the entire day cleaning and the house will still be a mess when I go to bed tonight.

Maybe its because I just don't want to have to be the Mom right now.
Maybe I would just like to put some focus on myself, be a little selfish, eat a treat without having to hide in the pantry, read a book without being interrupted, watch grey's anatomy (yes I have become addicted to the show I only recently thought was sex oriented and lacked content) without Bear asking me every five seconds why that person died, or Lyon telling, not asking, but telling me to get him another cup of juice/water.

Maybe its because I'm tired.

Maybe its because I'm lonely right now and could really use some grown up conversation.

Maybe its because I have a million things I want to get done, and I won't be able to do any of them, because there is only one of me, but there are three of them.

But maybe just maybe its just one of those days and I will make it through it, regardless of whether I want to or not.
And maybe tomorrow will be better.
And maybe I will laugh and be happy because Bear want to go to Africa, catch a monkey, bring it home to the monkey doctor, and then take it to the zoo. And I have no idea why.
Maybe I will laugh and be happy because Lyon is just so darn cute when he repeats everything Bear says only he yells it at me with a grumpy face and usually hits at me with his hand. I have no idea why he does that.
Maybe I will laugh and be happy because Sissy Fenix is rolling from her back to her tummy (which is much harder than from tummy to back) and she is scooting around, and getting up on her hands and knees and doing that rocking that they do when they are trying to figure out how to crawl, and she is jibber jabbering in just the absolute cutest way. I will be amazed because she is only almost 5 months old.
Maybe my Mom's words will come back to me "Look at the bright side, the sunny side" said with a big huge grin :D
And maybe I will stop complaining, thank Heavenly Father for blessing me so abundantly and I will stop focusing on the negative and "look at the bright side, the sunny side" And I too will do so with a big huge grin :D

And maybe just maybe, tomorrow is only a day away....


Shannon and Doug said...

Wow that was really interesting to read you working through your thoughts. It was almost thereputic. Strangly I woke up feeling the EXACT same way this morning. BUT I have yet to look at the bright side of things until I read your blog that I always look forward to. So thanks to you I will also change my attitude and be thankful for my oh so many blessings. Bring it on motherhood bring it on! P.s Where should I send the co-pay? ;)

Stephanie said...

Rose, i love you :)

Richard Graves said...

Grandpa will take the boys for a ride this afternonn when I get home from work. Have them ready at about 5:30

The Mecham Family said...

I'll just say it are an amazing writer. I love the way you express everything! Today will be a good day! Just think, you could be stuck in an office away from your me...

Wendy and Michael said...

Rose, hang in there. I hear you. I am up at 6 am every morning to get my self and my kids ready for the day. Most nights I only get 3 hours of sleep. I am like a zombie and don't get a break all day long. I get home at 6pm after missing my kids all day have only enough time to make dinner, clean up dinner, bath kids and put them to bed! Most days I just feel like i'm moving through the motions and not really there because of sever sleep deprivation. Everyone needs something at the same time. You just need to get a regular baby sitter on the weekends so that phil can take you on a date night every week. Join a mothers and others group! On the bright side you are fortunate enough to be home with your kids!! And enjoy each precious moment! I would love to be able to be home with my kids all day!!