Monday, January 11, 2010

The toilet story

So you do remember that episode of Seinfeld where Jerry drops his girlfriends toothbrush in the toilet and then fishes it out only to find that while he washed the germs off his hands the girlfriend grabs the toothbrush and starts to brush her teeth with it. Jerry doesn't have the nerve to tell her about it and subsequently finds he cannot bring himself to kiss her toilet germ infested mouth.

Well here is my story and don't worry there are no pictures I think your imagination will suffice:

Picture if you will an ice cold Saturday afternoon. Phil is in the living room working on some real estate business, Bear is watching TV, I am in the kitchen, and Lyon is somewhere being very quiet. Lyon had said that he needed to go to the bathroom and being potty trained I told him to go, he knows how to do so by himself. After a while I start to wonder what is taking him so long; so I go to check. I expect to find him in his room playing quietly as has often been the case, but as I walked from the kitchen through the living room and approached the bathroom I could here water sloshing.
Oh No!
I round the corner and am hit with a foul aroma.
Then I see Lyon.
He is leaning over the toilet sloshing the toilet water around.
It gets worse.
As I approach him I notice the water in the toilet is a sickly orangish brown.
Then Lyon notices me standing there.
He pulls his hands out of the toilet and sets not one toothbrush, but two on the counter.
"Oh the humanity!"
I am horrified.
He had been trying to clean the toilet with the toothbrushes.
Why he didn't flush the toilet first I will never know.
After finding him in this state I told him to throw the toothbrushes in the garbage; he did.
I then told him to get into the bathtub; he did.
I then covered him in soap and told him to wash while I cleaned; he did.
I got our fabulous life saving steam cleaner and set it up to steam clean all that darned poo.
It was everywhere :{
No worries though I got it all cleaned up and sanitized.
While I cleaned/sanitized Lyon washed and I kept thinking:

What if I hadn't come to check on him when I did?
What if he finished cleaning the toilet flushed it and then put the toothbrushes back in the drawer?
What if later that night my kids brushed their teeth with those toothbrushes.
I don't think it would have occurred to Lyon to tell anyone that they had been in the toilet.

The thoughts made me nauseous.
I guess new toothbrushes are on the list this week.


The Mecham Family said...

OMG! THat is SOOOO nasty! YOu are so lucky to have caught him!
What a great story to tell his future wife.

utahbuyeragent said...

Lol, that is what this blog is for :D

Dan/Kealy said...

That is really gross. I'm glad you caught him doing it too so you could clean it up properly. Look at the fun mom moments I get to look forward to...