Tuesday, May 18, 2010

So. What.

Do you ever notice how many amazing people surround us?
I notice.
I notice the women mostly.
Well I don't usually compare myself to men, its just not realistic.
So I compare myself to the other women. The other amazing women out there. Those with their success and their amazing talents, and great ideas. Those who leave me in wonder.
I don't feel like I am a success. I don't feel like I have amazing talents. I don't feel like I have great ideas.
I stay at home. I am not raking in the money. I am pretty sure no one is envying my vast array of talents or ideas, lol. I am not, as the world would define, successful.
Its a sad thought, but so what.
Who say's the world has to define me. Who says that the world is right?
Can't I be successful and amazing without conquering the giants that other women have?
Can't I be myself, the mother, the wife, the daughter, the aunt, the sister, that I am.
Can't that be amazing enough.
Because nearly every other woman on the planet has those same roles.
Shouldn't I be that and then even more.
Shouldn't I be the one out there conquering the giants, my story being told to all others, being the bright example that all should aspire to be like?
Well if that is the case, I just don't know how to get there.

PS-I am glad that there are women out there who are amazing and making a successful difference. Even if I am not one of them.

PPS-I realize its amazing to be a mother, daughter, grandmother, etc... I am not saying it isn't, I am just sharing my feelings of insignificance when I see other women who do all that and then some.


Eternal Lizdom said...

We all have different roles and it isn't necessarily in our lifetime that we get to see our impact. I believe that the way I parent my kids, for example, will potentially produce greatness decades from now. Maybe my kid will do something extraordinary. Maybe my grandkid or great-grandkid will be that special something. But I have to look back at my own ancestors and be thankful for the chocies they made that got everyone in the right place.

It's a ripple effect. Some people are supposed to make huge waves right now and some are supposed to create the ripples that make the waves.

I also believe that Purpose is very individual. And that we often make an impact on other lives that we may never know about.

So don't discount what you do or don't do. Just follow your heart, your path, your faith and you will fulfill your Purpose.

The Mecham Family said...

I know you didn't write this post hoping that people would comment and reassure you that you are amazing... but I'm going to say what I think anyway- I envy what you are able to do with your children every day, and you do have a talent- You are able to see and capture all those incredible moments you have with your children and share it with us. You recognize those moments when many of us don't! I think you are amazing. :)

shannon said...

I feel like this everyday. My step-sister Olivia just graduated from law school. I can't deny that that I am dangerously green with envy. I too wonder how some women seem to be able to "do it all". Like even other stay at home moms. There was one mom my same age who could sew just about anything, baked the most amazing bread all the time, had her MASTERS degree! ect... And then here I am complaining about laundry all the time. I can't seen to manage what others can and I get down on myself too. It is like an inner conflict that is always going on. I want to go to college as i am the ONLY one in my family without a degree but at the same time I value staying home with my kids so much that college is proving to be a very difficult task. So I seem to have that haunting feeling of "what do I want to be when I grow up" that in my mind, should have gone away by now. lol. Basically just want you to know that I UNDERSTAND! haha P.S. you just so happen to BE one of the moms that I am in awe of. And I wouldn't say it if it weren't true. ;)

Arizona Mamma said...

I struggle with those same demons from time to time. It's almost impossible not to compare myself to others, but in the end, it boils down to a choice I am making for the benefit of my children. I do happen to think staying home with them is a scrifice. One that does make you pretty great.

Shell said...

I think about this. I mean, what am I doing?

But, then I realize that it has to do with my definition of success and that some of those women whom I envy, are secretly envying me.

And if they aren't, I don't want to know about it. It's how I sleep at night.

Shmonae said...

ohhh, don't say it. Just don't. E v e r y woman feels the same way. That is what is wrong with women. Men don't give the same attention to it that women do. Blogs can be dangerous in this way. It is easy to only see the good in each of the women and not the weaknesses. Know that you are strong and I admire how you are humble and admit how you feel. That alone is a talent. I was talking to my hubby just today how being mom is a thankless job and sometimes it just feels like we need to be noticed. All mom's feel this...I feel this but it is THE most important job in the world and guess what, your kids will remember you and what you did for them, not what business suzy homemaker did down the street that didn't spend any time with her kids...haha just sayin'