If I lay here if I just lay here....

fine

it's okay

eh, it happens

My standard answers when people tell me they are sorry,

or ask how I am.

I'm lying,

at least part of the time.

I don't quite know how to say how I feel

Sometimes I am fine,

It's not the end of the world and I will be just fine.

But other times,

I say I'm fine,

but what I really mean:

I am so sad and all I want to do is bawl,

or freak out,

or run away,

or just plain lay down and just forget the world.

I've lost something,
something that meant a whole lot to me.
And though there are far greater tragedies in this world than mine,
I've found that it's okay for me to be sad about mine.

We make plans for life while we live it,
plans for the future,
plans for happiness.

Then life happens,
sometimes how we plan and sometimes not.
And when the bad things happen we have the choice,

We can lie here, we can just lay here and just forget the world.
We can waste time chasing cars.

Or we can be sad take our moments as they come,
but get up and continue to plan and re-plan for a good and happy life.
Learning from both the good stuff and the bad.

And if we are lucky:
We go through life with family and good friends to lay with us in our moments,
but then help us up and help us stand when we are ready.

I'm grateful for my family and friends that remind me that my plans are in fact

a garden bursting into life

Even if it isn't full of the flowers that I planted,
it's beautiful.