Crap...

I went to Wal-mart on Tuesday.

Big mistake for someone without coupons to go on double coupon day.

But I thought I was being smart going in the morning instead of that night...

Who'd have thought the morning would be every bit as busy as the night...

Not only was it packed, all the lines were a mile long with people holding stacks of coupons.

So there I was wandering around Walmart with Lyon and Fenix.

Trying desperately to remember the few things that I actually went there to buy.

And of course being tempted to buy all the things that I did not go there to buy.

I wandered down the make up aisle looking for finger nail polish remover and found eyeliner, 

glistening pretty things calling my name.

Meanwhile my children climbed in and out of the cart,

begged for every interesting thing they saw,

(which I can't blame them for, as I wanted every interesting thing I saw too)

my patience was running very thin.

I just wanted a moment to think without being interrupted by,

"Mom!Mom!Mom!Mom!Mom!MOM!!!"

I rounded the corner and there stood my friend!

"Friend!!!"

Someone to talk to for a second who won't refer to me as "mom", yes!

That's all it took to recharge my patience level and send me happily on my mission through Walmart.

Of course I had to double back, because all the glistening pretty things in the make up asile had distracted me from getting the finger nail polish remover I'd gone in there for.

I managed to make it through the rest of the store unscathed.

Maybe my shopping cart was heavier than it needed to be,

with all sorts of stuff I didn't need, but I'd made it to the check out line.

I prepared to wait for a very long time.

I let my kids go over to the children entertainment shelf.

I mean that is what all the crappy toys by the check out stand are for, right...

I loaded up my stuff on the conveyer belt and watch as my items were rung up. 

The price I'd pay grew to astronomical heights...

Crap!

Half way through getting rung up I notice Lyon doing a dance that can only mean one thing.

He has GOT to go to the bathroom.

I'm hoping I can finish, pay for my stuff, and haul him home before he absolutely can't hold it anymore.

But before I can think another thought, 

he is by my side,

"Mom!Mom!Mom!Mom!Mom!MOM!!!!"

He can't hold it another minute,

so he runs off to the bathroom a few yards away.

I pay for the crap I have, frantically trying to get over by the bathroom to make sure Lyon is okay.

Fenix has taken all of the toys off the shelf and has them lined up on the floor.

Crap!

My stress level is to the ceiling ready to plummet at any second.

And then,

hey!

There is my friend again.

She could see I was struggling and asked if I needed help,

I didn't think I did,

but just her offer,

just her friendly smile, 

was enough to give me the little boost I needed to move forward.

I got Fenix, stuffed the toys on the shelf, and hauled my heavy cart to the bathrooms.

I call into the mens room,

"Lyon!"

"Mom!"

I hear him sadly say.

I was fully prepared to march straight into that bathroom if necessary...

Instead Lyon waddles to the door,

"Mom, I pooed my pants" :(

Oh crap!!!

His pants are around his ankles and he has got diarrhea sliding down his legs.

I needed to clean him up and fast.

I didn't want to do that in the mens room,

I didn't want to try and push my cart into the bathroom (practically impossible at wal mart)

And I didn't want to leave my cart sitting untended in Walmart for somebody to just walk away with...

I'd already payed for it all for crying out loud!

And somebody would totally do that....

Crap!

After a minute of deliberation I walked into the mens room; 

yanked up Lyons pants, which he groaned in discomfort about,

and pulled him carefully out of the mens room and toward the ladies room.

As were about to go into the ladies room I hear a voice shouting out to me...

What the?

I look around and there standing, in the customer service line, behind me is another one of my friends.

"Do you need help?" She calls.

yes *sob*

I gratefully ask her to keep an eye on my cart for me.

Without that to worry about my weight was lifted and I had the strength to carry on.

I tried to get Lyon to go into the ladies room with me,

he stopped short just inside the door refusing to go in because boys don't go into the girls bathroom.

I tried explaining to him why it was okay etc, etc...  He wouldn't budge.

Crap!

Finally another mom came in to the bathroom going past us with her twin boys 

who had to have been Lyons same age.

"Look", I said, "there are other boys too."

He put up no more resistance, lol!

We hustled into the bathroom where Fenix informed me that she needed to go to the bathroom.

Crap, lol!

  Of course she did!

We were waiting for the "big" handicap stall anyway 

which was occupied by another mother and several small children, 

so I took Fenix to a tiny stall knowing I could never fit them both in there, so I left Lyon waiting on the other side of the door.

Poor kid standing alone in the ladies room with poo running down his legs,

smelling awful,

what must passers by have thought...

Finally the "big" stall was all ours.

I was fortunate to have wipes with me.

By some miracle I had stuffed them in my purse at the last second before we left our house.

But I didn't bring any clothes and there was no salvaging the pants he had on.

By some other miracle I had bought Lyon a couple of shirts and Fenix some stretchy pants,

but they were in my cart.

So I left my two children (horrifying I know) alone in the handicap stall and raced out to my cart.

I must have looked like a total weirdo running around like I was...

I grabbed the clothes out of my cart,

ran back to the bathroom where my children were thankfully still waiting.

I got Lyon cleaned up and dressed.

I had to throw his clothes away,

but by the end of it all I'd survived unscathed.

Not once did I think that I would rather die than deal with such a problem.

Not once did I completely lose hope.

Not once did I curse my Heavenly Father.

I was given a challenge.

I faced it.

And I made it through to the other side.

I know Heavenly Father had a part in it,

because I never could have made it without my friends there. 

They stood as reminders that women are strong!

That women can make it through anything!

And that I am most certainly not the only person who's ever had their child crap their pants in public!

Thus it is something that is survivable.

Thank you Tahsh and Em for deciding to go to Wal mart as the exact time I needed you to :D