Death by any other name would still be dead...

For the last 6 months (give or take) my focus has been mostly on death.

I've travelled to the very brink of it and back again without ever having to suffer physical injury.

I've obsessed about it,

fantasized about it,

witnessed it,

and have been jealous of those who've found it.

Death has been such a large part of my thoughts,

that it seems so surreal that now I'm not thinking about it so much anymore....

For now I've gotten passed my obsession with death.

I'm remembering that we live for the little things.

The funny things children say as they are learning about the world.

The quirks and talents of others and ourselves.

The little adventures mixed with the big ones.

All the failures and successes,

all the struggles and survivals,

all the ups and downs,

all the falls and ascents.

Sometimes the fun is in the free falling.

Sometimes the fun is in reaching a summit 

and looking out over what you've accomplished so far.

The best part of life is not;

"yet to come",

but the here and now.

The best part of life is right now, this moment.

The best days are everyday.

The best memories are the ones you have.

It's all about looking at the big picture;

The big picture is made up of all the little ones put together.

All together it is a perfect picture.

The dark spots mixed with the light.

The jagged edges mixed with the smooth.

I know my "picture" is going to turn out awesome,

because mine is going to be finished!

Because I'm not going to quit before it's done,

because even though it could be finished at any moment,

the point is in finishing....

I'll finish,

I hope you do too,

and I bet when we all put our pictures together it'll be breathtaking...

Death and all her friends...

Conversations at the breakfast table in my house are always interesting.

Yesterday morning, Lyon brought up death.

Out of nowhere he says to me:

"I don't want our whole family to die"

Bear pipes in:

"We all have to die someday Lyon"

I was like:

"Lyon, why are you worried about our family dying?"

He was like:

"My friend told me."

I was like:

"What friend?"

He was like:

"That boy."

Uhhhhhhhh......

Well I don't know who in the world Lyon has been talking too, but uhhhh okay....

So I spend the whole morning talking to Lyon about death.

Explaining to him what would happen if we should die.

I told him about the spirit world, and he worried about getting our bodies back on.

I told him more about the spirit world, and he worried about leaving his toys.

I told him that death isn't scary.

I told him about how he would get to go to daycare during the day if either mommy or daddy died.

I think maybe I made it sound a little too good, lol!

Because Lyon got really excited about daycare, lol!

Bear told me he'd want to go live with his friends if both me and Superman died.

Yep, such fun conversations in the morning.