Lost

Oh. My. Word! 

 So bear tells me he is going to go play with his basketball friends,

he does this on a daily basis,

and always comes right back home if none of them are out playing basketball.

So I am not surprised when he leaves but then comes right back home. 

 I think he goes downstairs to play cars while I play in the backyard with Lyon and Fenix. 

 An hour later I go inside and call for Bear, he doesn't answer....

I figure he is engrossed in his game and doesn't want to answer me.

I mean it never occurred to me that he might have left, he always tells me where he is going.

So I play outside with Lyon and Fenix again.

It's starting to get late into the afternoon, and Lyon and Fenix want to go back inside.

We go inside and I call for Bear again.

I call again and again as I walk the entirety of my house looking for him, 

he isn't home.

His bike is here, his scooter is here, his basketball is here.

But he isn't.

So I start looking for him outside my house.

 I call half my neighbors, knock on the other halves doors.

I send Lyon over to my next door neighbors house, 

but Lyon tells me that only the sisters are home.

I call out for him across the neighborhood.

I try to imagine where he might have gone.

He never just disappears like this and he knows he isn't supposed to go into his friends houses.

He is supposed to stay where I can see him.

He always does.

I look and look and look,

near tears at this point.

 Can't find him!

I go home and think for a minute, 

it has now been two hours since I noticed him missing.

I'm ready to call the police. 

 I think of what he was wearing, try to imagine giving a description of him to the police. 

 I imagine every worst case scenario there is. 

I'd been working in my garden all day my hair was a mess and I was wearing junky work clothes.

If I am going to have to call the police I don't want to look like a slacker mom when they show up.

(Which is what I think I looked like at that moment)

Yes, I actually think this.

So I get dressed and comb my hair, pick up my phone, and at the last second decide to check the neighborhood one last time.

Some of the neighbors didn't answer their doors,

Maybe just maybe they will this time around.

So I go to my next door neighbors house.

I'm thinking that they probably aren't home,

I knock...

And sure enough,

Bear has been at their house the whole time playing with his best friend.

Thank goodness!!!

I say he can play there for a little longer, and walk back home shaking the whole way.

My energy drained, 

my head pounding,

though I should feel relief,

I don't.

I feel like throwing up.