Friday, September 30, 2011


It burns, it burns!!!

I am so overwhelmed trying to get and keep my house clean.
Wondering if we really are moving.
Wondering what to do about signing Bear up for basketball.
Wondering how to finish all I need to finish.
Wondering why I am so tired.

So so very very tired.

I keep moving because if I sit still I am sure to fall asleep.
With all that I have to get done, 
there is just no time for falling asleep in the middle of the day...

I've got windows to clean,
floors to mop,
floors to vacuum,
dishes and laundry to keep clean and put away.
I've got to keep my house smelling good and comforting.
I've got to keep all beds made,
all rooms orderly,
all toys picked up and put away.
I've got counters and tables that need to stay clean, clear, and sparkling.
I've got meals to make,
a little girl to take to the bathroom every five minutes.
That same girl I've got to keep from drawing on the walls.

All this because a prospective buyer could show up at any minute wanting to see the house...
And should they show up I want this house to be clean, clear, orderly, and sparkling ;D

Every time I get these things done,
something comes along and undoes it all.
It's so stressful,
it's one step forward,
two steps back,
my destination moving farther and farther away from me.

It's no wonder I feel like just giving up.
But the important thing is that I haven't.

I've been waking up every morning,
and carrying on throughout the whole day.
I'm not only exhausted mentally,
I'm exhausted physically as well.

The fact that I am moving at all can only mean one thing,
the refiners fire has burned me, but I am healing.
Though I know I'll be thrown back into the fire at some point every single day,
I also know that I'll survive and come out stronger.

I just need to take a deep breath, 
take the heat, 
with every intention of surviving it 

There is a reason we were made to not only be injured,
but to also and more importantly
be healed...

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