Five day's in the psych ward... Day five...

I woke-up Monday morning wondering what in the world I had been doing the night before.

I remembered bits and pieces,

but was sure it was probably just a dream.

I asked my friend in her thirties about it,

she laughed and told me I was very cute.

"Like someone who had had their first drink and was drunk for the first time."

I believe it.

I was just a bit embarrassed,

but glad my friends didn't talk me into taking my clothes off and running around naked.

They probably could have...

Yikes!

I got showered and dressed and felt better.

It was going to be a good day,

I just knew it.

After meeting with my psychiatrist and therapist I was sure of it.

I was going home.

Having had plenty of time to think ponder and reflect over the long weekend.

I made a lot of personal progress and discoveries.
I thought, and reasoned, and wrote so I'd remember.

On my morning and evening questionaires I answered honestly

My feeling level of 

Anger- 0

Stress- 0

Anxiety- 0

Suicidal- 0

My overall mood:

Happy

Motivated

Looking forward to living

And I was.

Thus there was no reason for me to need to stay at the hospital any longer.

I spent the morning happily playing catch with one of the techs who I'd seen yell at 

the crazy mumbling lady in her forties.
Something no one else had done, and something that they probably needed to.

We tossed the notorious foam football up and down the hall.

Laughing and joking and getting to know each other.

He was really nice.

He was convinced I played football on a powder puff team.

I am that awesome at playing catch with a foam football.

I knew he was marrying one of the other techs.

The girl who let me drink my soda out of a can.

I only knew this because my friend in her thirties had told me, lol!

I kept teasing him about it.

He wondered how on earth I knew.

 I kept coyly telling him that us crazy people knew everything

and that there are no secrets in the psych ward...
This playful banter went back and forth for a while.

 I started to worry that he might think it seemed like I was flirting with him;
which I wasn't at all!
I caught the football and held it for a minute thinking.
I DID NOT want him to think I was flirting so,

I reassured him that I am married,

have been for eight years,

and am madly in love,

with the man of my dreams,

my husband of eight years.
And also that I have three kids,
that I love and adore.

So though this tech was thirty-one,
I concluded that I was in fact older than him.

We went right back to teasing each other again.

While tossing that football.

It was fun!
The most fun I'd had all week end.
I told him so.

If it weren't way too weird I would add him as a Facebook friend.
Just so I could keep teasing him.
Because I'm like that...
I like to tease playfully, I'm never trying to be mean,
 and I'm never trying to flirt!
Unless of course it's my Phil in which case I realize I need to try harder to not be mean,
and spend a LOT more time flirting.
Because I LOVE him and WANT him to know I am flirting.
I love my Super Man!!!

***

I wasn't sure if Phil would be able to come get me before he finished work.

So I planned on going home that evening during visiting hours.
It was going to be a long wait.
Remember the forlorn woman I'd seen crying and wringing her hands just wanting to go home.
Well I knew how she felt,
but I got lucky and didn't have to wait for very long.

I would leave by lunch time.

When all the paper work was said and done I called Phil and he couldn't wait to come get me.

Superman was there to rescue me with-in minutes.

In fact he had to wait a few minutes for me to get packed up.

 I said goodbye to my friends.
Took one last look around.

And then I nervously walked the maze out of the hospital hand in hand with my Superman.

We walked out into the bright hot sunlight and fresh warm air.

And all I could think was:

FREEDOM!!!

But also,

REALITY!!!