And Rose says...

Today I am thankful for blinds and curtains. 

More specifically, for the blinds in my bedrooms and bathroom 

and for the curtains my new neighbors have covering

 their living room windows. 

 There is just something unsettling about walking into my bedroom 

and feeling like I am walking into some one elses living room, 

awwwkwwwwaaaaarrrd.   

I really need to figure out some kind of landscaping outdoor screen. 

Trees, perhaps really tall bushes......

I don't know.... 

Something....

So I can comfortably let some light in once in a while.

Yeah, I can totally pull off the mouth guard look.
Totally.
Lol
;D

It is hard being a mom, what did you expect? Steps to motherhood: Part two

I am a wife and mother with three kids: 5, 3, and 1

My full time job is cleaning house.

The same house everyday.

My house.

Meanwhile I raise my children.

It is a difficult task, but someone has to do it.

Raise the next generation and all that.

As much as I love my husband and children I must admit:

Sometimes I wonder what life would be like had I chose a different path.

Would I be happier, would I enjoy life more, would I have joy?

Suppose I hadn't gotten married when I was nineteen.

Suppose I had worked my way through college, gotten my degree in sports medicine, 

gotten a job as an athletic trainer, moved onward and upward, 

perhaps finding myself working as the head athletic trainer for a professional football team. 

(as has been a career inspired dream of mine)

Would I enjoy working at that?

Would I like my co-workers?

Would I go to sleep at night excited to go to work the next day?

Would I feel successful, appreciated, happy?

What would I do in my spare time?

Where would I spend my evenings?

Would I have a plethora of friends to hang out with?

Would I rather be with friends than family?

Would I plan trips to visit my long distance family?

Would I have moments when I wished things were different?

Would I wonder what life would be like had I gotten married?

I don't know the answer to those questions, but one thing is unmistakable:

Spending an evening with my children, 

watching them dance, 

listening to them laugh, 

clapping for them, 

cheering for them, 

witnessing their silly quirky ways

 has filled me with such entertainment, happiness and joy.

Having my Superman by my side and knowing he is enjoying it just as much as I am,

knowing what we have created together,

and reveling in that "success"

is smiles in a bottle that we drink and enjoy while toasting each other.

I can't change the past, and I don't want to.

Even if it is hard being a Wife/Mom.

 Every.

 Single. 

Day.  

Of course come dinner time tonight,
when my kids are all hanging on my legs and bugging me for this or that.
I am sure I'lll start wondering again,
just what would life be like without them.
And when they are sleeping soundly with their little angel faces,
I'll be reminded again that I wouldn't have life any other way.            

It is hard being a mom, what did you expect? Steps to motherhood: Part one

When I was pregnant with Bear (my first child) I was living in a small apartment (with Superman).

The apartment complex had a pool, a tennis court, a weight room, etc...

Being an active person, I loved this.

I remember looking longingly down at the tennis court wanting desperately to go out and play.

Being pregnant though, I thought it would be better (safer) that I didn't.

My baby was due in February.

So I dreamed of springtime after I'd had the baby.

Springtime would be the perfect opportunity to take advantage of that tennis court.

As I imagined playing tennis and having fun with Superman I made a startling realization:

What would we do with the baby?

I pictured bringing the baby in his car seat into the tennis court and setting him in a corner to "watch".

Then I pictured an unfortunately lobbed ball flying right at him.

It was that moment that I knew that I would never get a chance to play on that tennis court.

It was that moment that I knew the minute I had my baby life would forever be altered.

It was in that moment that I desperately clung to my pregnancy, not wanting it to end.

Though I did want to hold my sweet baby in my arms I was afraid of everything else.

I was afraid of not being able to leave him.

I was afraid that there would be moments when I would have to leave him.

I was afraid of the unknown.

Of course I met each of those challenges head on and many more besides.

I faced each of those challenges all over again with each baby I had.

It was hard, it was scary, it was.....it was......

AMAZING

It was amazing that I could grow up so fast, instinctively knowing how to tend to my new baby.

It is amazing how much I love my babies.

It is amazing how much I want to be around them and bring them with me everywhere.

It is amazing.  It is hard.

and

When my baby Bear was finally filling my arms with  his tiny needing self,

I no longer cared about playing tennis.

And Rose says...

"I thought of something really clever to say 

while I was at the Walmart today,

and now I just can't remember...."

No one likes a frownie face, change it for a smile....

And Rose says...

"What good is strength if you don't use it..."

And Rose says...

"Sometimes the hardest things, are the things no one else can see."