Wednesday, January 26, 2011

It is hard being a mom, what did you expect? Steps to motherhood: Part two

I am a wife and mother with three kids: 5, 3, and 1
My full time job is cleaning house.
The same house everyday.
My house.
Meanwhile I raise my children.
It is a difficult task, but someone has to do it.
Raise the next generation and all that.

As much as I love my husband and children I must admit:
Sometimes I wonder what life would be like had I chose a different path.
Would I be happier, would I enjoy life more, would I have joy?

Suppose I hadn't gotten married when I was nineteen.

Suppose I had worked my way through college, gotten my degree in sports medicine, 
gotten a job as an athletic trainer, moved onward and upward, 
perhaps finding myself working as the head athletic trainer for a professional football team. 
(as has been a career inspired dream of mine)

Would I enjoy working at that?
Would I like my co-workers?
Would I go to sleep at night excited to go to work the next day?
Would I feel successful, appreciated, happy?
What would I do in my spare time?
Where would I spend my evenings?
Would I have a plethora of friends to hang out with?
Would I rather be with friends than family?
Would I plan trips to visit my long distance family?
Would I have moments when I wished things were different?
Would I wonder what life would be like had I gotten married?

I don't know the answer to those questions, but one thing is unmistakable:
Spending an evening with my children, 
watching them dance, 
listening to them laugh, 
clapping for them, 
cheering for them, 
witnessing their silly quirky ways
 has filled me with such entertainment, happiness and joy.

Having my Superman by my side and knowing he is enjoying it just as much as I am,
knowing what we have created together,
and reveling in that "success"
is smiles in a bottle that we drink and enjoy while toasting each other.

I can't change the past, and I don't want to.

Even if it is hard being a Wife/Mom.

Of course come dinner time tonight,
when my kids are all hanging on my legs and bugging me for this or that.
I am sure I'lll start wondering again,
just what would life be like without them.
And when they are sleeping soundly with their little angel faces,
I'll be reminded again that I wouldn't have life any other way.