April 4, 2011

When I woke-up this morning I felt like I was dying.

The headache rising from it's slumber,

the light, dizzy, aching head.

With it comes nausea so fierce I wonder how I can possibly get up today.

How can I possibly make it through this one day?

I can't, not without help.

Superman leaves for work.

I am left alone for now.

For now, lasts a minute.

Fenix is awake and I need to wake up Bear and Lyon.

First thing first, breakfast.

I don't eat though.

I'd rather starve for now.

I start the treacherous climb that is getting Bear ready for school.

How can I possibly make it through this day?

I can't, not without help.

I call my neighbor who had offered to take Bear to school.

Mustering up my strength I take a deep breath,

"Good morning!"

I tell her in my brightest cheeriest voice.

Desperately trying to hold it together.

We converse,

and she offers the miracle I need.

She'll take Bear to school.

Now I've just got to get him ready and out the door.

Fenix and Lyon have eaten breakfast,

and are watching some television in my room.

I gratefully crawl back into my bed, slowly easing my poor body down onto the soft comfort.

Superman calls.

We've got a problem.

The truck has a flat tire.

I've got to heave myself up out of bed, get Lyon and Fenix dressed,

get myself dressed, and drive to Superman to save him.

You just can't appreciate the difficulty of this task unless you've experienced it for yourself. 

I would have rather died.

I really would have!

It took a lifetime to get dressed,

 carefully and slowly so as not to shake my body to much,

as that would bring on terrible gagging spasms.
I manage to get us all ready to go,
we step outside,
and there sits an enormous pile of snow on top of my car.
Or more specifically, my cars windshield.
Not only is it huge,
It had started to melt,
but then froze again.
I've got to hack a foot of ice off my windshield.
Crap.

.........

I wrote this post way back at the beginning of April.
I never finished it because I felt too sick, lol!


I'd still rather be expecting a baby in November,
but since I am not...


Not being pregnant has its perks ;D

And Lyon says...

Lyon comes in and tells me something that I can't understand, but somehow 

I get the message that he needs his swim shoes. 

 He finally says clear enough for me to understand:

"-K- said I need to put on flip-flops 

and I don't even know what flip flops are!" 

I could not stop laughing as I tried to explain to him what flip flops are. 

 I show him his sandals and explain how they go, flip-flop-flip-flop when he walks. 

And that is why they are sometimes called "flip flops".

 Of course I could not stop laughing as I had this conversation with him

 so I'm not really sure how much he understood... 

...I don't think he got it, because he keeps calling his swim shoes "flip-flops" and his sandals "sandals"...

 Lol!

Cake and Ice Cream...

Last week Fenix turned two. 

Superman got her an Ice Cream Cake.

We sadly didn't get a chance to eat it on the night of her actual birthday.

And I, like an idiot, put it in the Refrigerator instead of the freezer.

The next morning the cake had melted to half it's original size.

We still managed to make it work.

Sorta.

Kinda.

It really wasn't too bad a breakfast...

;D

And Bear says...

While driving around running errands yesterday,

Bear out of the blue asks me:

"Mom, when do you think Stephanie will start having children?"

Reading aloud vs. Listening to audio tapes...

I love to read, I love to read quietly to myself.

I also love to listen to audio books. 

Well there are certain ones I love because the reader has such a good voice.

Last time my husband and I drove to San Diego, somehow I ended up reading *Twilight* to him. 

 I don't really remember why, he didn't care to hear it. 

But I think I wanted him to know what it was about.  

So while he was trapped in the car driving I serenaded him with words of Bella and Edward....

It ended up working out great!  

Like awesome!  

It made our trip sooooooo much better! 

 I was busy, my eyes focused on the book.

 Therefore I wasn't freaking out the whole drive and telling Superman how to drive. 

We didn't argue and I was in relatively good spirits the whole way there. 

 I think I managed to read the whole thing in the time it took to drive there and then back, or maybe just there and maybe I read New Moon on the way back I don't remember for sure....

So now we are planning another drive down to San Diego.

 This time with our kids. 

Sure we could get the audio books, 

but it goes so much better when I am preoccupied during these long treks. 

I just can't seem to handle the stress otherwise...

So I am hoping,

really really hoping,

that my kids will allow me to read aloud.

That they will actually listen.

That I won't suddenly become invisible and mute.

I'm hoping...

The power of invisibility...

I've discovered that more often than not

I am invisible, and apparently voiceless as well.....

My children don't see me.

My husband doesn't see me.

They don't hear me either.

It's really difficult to get them to notice I am around.
At least when I really need them to notice.
It's becoming clear that talking on my phone is the best way for me to get their attention.
This unfortunately is not the best time for my kids to suddenly notice I am around.
They have a tendency to begin demanding all sorts of thing from me.

They especially notice me at dinnertime.
Fenix wants me to hold her,
the boys want my attention.
And I am almost always the last to finish my meal
because I am up and down getting this or that for him or her.

But should I ask them a question
Or tell them something important
Perhaps ask them to do a chore
Or ask Superman a question
Their lack of notice can only mean one thing:
I am invisible and voiceless.

This whole invisibility business has been adding to my stress level.

I mean how can I possibly 

"be a better parent" 

*rolling eyes in an annoyed fashion*

when nobody can hear or see me when I need them to?

The power of invisibility sucks for a stay at home mom.

The power of flight on the other hand, now that would rock.

I mean just to get off my feet for a few minutes during the day...

Yeah, I'd trade invisibility for flying any day.

Of course this is to be expected, isn't it?? I mean because if it's not....

To say that I am under an unusually large amount of stress would be an understatement.

Preparing for a trip to California, 

Preparing for A LOT of family coming to town right after my trip,

Preparing to have our carpets cleaned and stretched,

Working way to hard all day and well into the night to get everything done that needs doing.

The flower garden.

The vegetable garden.

Finally painting my table.

And many other projects that have yet to be started and finished.

Every morning my body screams at me for abusing it so.

Now,
 I am all for hard work, but sometimes too much is too much.

Add in not nearly enough rest, not nearly enough hydration, and not nearly enough good meals.

Well all together it just plain old makes me want to barf.

So much to do so little time.

Now add in the fact that my darling sweet children cannot seem to do anything, 

or listen to anything I say or ask.

My daughter who only wants me to hold her.

ALL THE TIME!!!

It's enough to make a grown man cry...

Now add to all of that:

One of my neighbors yelling at my 6 and 3 year old boys.

For hitting a few balls over our back fence.

Just out right yelling at them when I am not in sight.

Superman and I were right inside the door working on dinner.

Superman hears yelling and asks me if someone is yelling at our kids.

I step into the doorway and sure enough, there is a grown man yelling at my kids.

Now I can understand being irritated about neighbor kids.

I've had many little ones pulling at my trees, break the branches, 

strip the branches of their leaves in my front yard.

I am pretty sure almost every kid in my neighborhood has tromped through my flower garden.

I am not worried about it.

If I see them doing it,

I kindly, but firmly ask them:

"Oh dear, please stay out of the flower garden."

I'm not yelling at them.

I am not freaking out about it.

Sometimes" kids will be kids" is just a plain old FACT.

There is a certain point where that fact is surpassed and no longer can be applied to the situation,

but plants and balls is hardly there.

Now had I not had experience with adults yelling at little kids I might not be so irritated about this.

I might have turned to Superman and told him,

"Holy crap that guy needs to get laid!"
And then hustled my children inside for dinner.

But when I was little I was yelled at by adult neighbors.
And it doesn't feel good.
So (without yelling) I told the guy that I would do my best to keep my children from hitting anything over the fence.  That in fact I had been doing my best.  I then apologized to him (without groveling).
He couldn't leave it at that, he went on to tell me that I needed to be a better parent.
I NEED TO BE A BETTER PARENT...
REALLY!!!
He tried to throw at me that his kids aren't out there hitting balls into our yard.
I couldn't even believe it.
I stood there with my mouth open not even able to utter a word,
though I'll tell you I had plenty that I wanted to say to him.
If you knew this neighbor you might know exactly what I am talking about when I say this guy has absolutely no room to be complaining about a few balls...

It was quite clear that this guy was trying to pick a fight.
So I go back to my original thought.

Holy crap that guy clearly needs to get laid!!!

So yeah, I am a lotta bit stressed out.

So this is how I am coping.

I'm sending my stress out into this world wide web where it can be lost in the shuffle.

Be absorbed.

Be forgotten.

And out of my system.

Tomorrow I will write about being invisible.

Turns out it's not all it's cracked up to be.

Blogging for therapy, lol!

I think so :D

PS-For those of you who are wondering which neighbor I am talking about, I am not going to say names, but I will say that this neighbor is NOT the neighbor that lives to the south of us.

No, we really like that neighbor.

:D

Oh the drama, continues...

After we left my sisters house we started our long but short trek from Orem to Mapleton.

Heading to my in-laws house, 

Supermans family's house, Grandpa Rick, and Grandma Larayne.

Now the thing you need to know about Grandma L is that she is something of a connoisseur 

when it comes to the art of tooth pulling.

People who know her bring their kids to her to have their teeth pulled.

Honestly its true, I've heard all the stories.

So knowing this Superman and I told Bear that if he didn't wiggle his tooth out 

before we got to Grandma L's house he could be sure 

he wouldn't leave Grandma's house with it intact.

We guaranteed it.

He stubbornly insisted otherwise.

He gets that stubbornness from me.

We arrived at our destination.

Bear's tooth still resided in his mouth.

We joined the family in the back yard and the family wasted no time in trying to convince

 Bear to pull his tooth out.  

Or more precisely to let Grandma pull it out.

Now Bear is my oldest child.

The first to have a loose tooth, and truth be told I really wanted to pull it out.

I pulled all of my own teeth out without any help, and if Bear was going to get help 

I really wanted to be the one he turned to.

He let us each take a turn wiggling it.

But when I really started to pull he started to cry.

Broke my heart.

His tooth didn't need to come out, not that day.

I wasn't going to make it something traumatic.

The only person Bear didn't let have a try yet was Grandma.

Now Bear is Grandma L's oldest grand child.

The first to have a loose tooth.

Being an expert at tooth pulling, of course she wanted to be the one to pull it.

We gave Bear a break, stopped bugging him and let him go off to play a little baseball.

But it wasn't long before the pressure started up again.

First we tried to get him to pull it out himself.

He just couldn't get it.

So we said,

"Come on Bear you didn't let Grandma have a turn.

Just let Grandma have a turn."

He let her.

But when she reached for the tooth Bear stopped her.

"No!"

He cried.

A few minutes later we sat him down in the anti gravity chair.

Tilted him back and convinced him to let Grandma have one last try.

He was really nervous, but consented.

 I stood there unsure.

On the one hand I wanted to pull out his tooth, 

on the other hand I realized just how much more Grandma wanted to.

So I didn't stop her.

Neither did Bear.

This time he didn't get a chance.

        

Grandma reached for his tooth, and quick as could be she snatched that sucker out.

The tooth was delivered.

It was a momentous occasion.

There were cheers and tears of joy, and all was well with the world again.

Bear walked a little lighter, but a lot taller that night.

His tooth no longer intact.

The important thing to note is that Superman and I so totally told him so.

;)

Oh the drama!

Bear's tooth has been loose for what seems like months.

Wiggle, wiggle, wobble, wobble.

Yesterday at church he had to show his teacher.

Last week at the park, he had to show my friends.

I am sure these other girls/ladies love looking into my kids mouth....

So the other day at church, Bear wiggled and wiggled it.

He was certain he'd get it out while still at church.

Superman told Bear that he was not to let it fall out at church.

Due to the blood, it's something you really want to do at home....

He made it through church with tooth still intact. 

After church we went to lunch with my family.

My dad's sister was in town and when she is we get together for Sunday lunch/dinner.

We had a good, though crazy, visit.

And Bear announced to everyone who would listen

(if they weren't listening he made them)

that his tooth was loose.

Opening his mouth wide for them to see.

He made it through the lunch with tooth still intact.

After the lunch Superman and I headed over to my sisters house so our kids could play.

Bear wiggled and wobbled his tooth the whole way there.

When we got there the kids played and played,

for a half hour or so.

Then the harassment and adult pressure started up.

Having been pulled into the excitement of Bear losing his first tooth, 

everyone wanted to pull the tooth out, or at least witness it.

(So it seemed)

My sisters husband brought out the pliers.

That's when Bear started to get nervous.

I'm pretty sure he was about to cry.

I told Bear that Uncle Mike would pull one of his own teeth out with the pliers 

before he could pull out Bear's, 

you know to test and make sure it'd be okay.

I thought that would be the end of the pliers.

I think Bear did too.

Uncle Mike stood there pausing for a second, pliers still held up in his hand.

He got a serious thoughtful look on his face and walked away.

I thought I had made my point about the pliers being nerve racking.

Uncle Mike walked out of the room.

A few minutes later Uncle Mike came back.

Instead of pliers in his hand he had a small book.

The kind that holds pictures.

He flipped open the book to show us a picture.

There he stood in the picture, his 5-10 year old self,

 with a missing tooth, 

next to his dad who had pliers in his hand.

It was proof that he had experienced the pliers.

My point about the pliers melted away.

Bear still refused to even consider the pliers.

So we 

(my brother, sister, Superman, and Mike)

talked Bear into tying a string of floss around his tooth hooking the string to the door 

and then closing the door.

That age old technique.

He gave in.

Turns out it's hard to tie a string around a tooth.

After much trial and error, Superman and I managed to get it done.

(If you ever try this, tie the string to the door first)

There he stood.

String strung to the door.

We all watched in anticipation.

Our video's and pictures in the making.

Bear insisted on closing the door himself.

He closed the door.

He wasn't standing far enough back and he didn't close the door hard enough.

So I helped him take a step back.

I held him firmly in his place and when he pushed the door to close I added my own strength to it.

It did not work.

The string tied to his tooth simply untied and slipped off when being pulled.

Though Bear's tooth was still in his mouth, it was a bit looser.

Time had run out at my sisters house and it was time to go.

He made it through that visit with his tooth still intact.

To be continued.....